NOW - 10.06.2007

There’s no chance to avoid the questions.

“Anton, what is your new performance “DIAGNOSE” about?”

I will search for the words again, not to offend someone and not to burst into tears because of the nonsense I’m talking.

OK. Apparently I’m a prosperous person. (Slava, give me back a million!). I don’t buy things. However I stare in the shops’ windows just like the Korean women stare at Dima Abramov.

DEREVO already has everything that may be necessary for the realization of creative ideas.

There’s a photo of Bonnie Parker in my purse next to the driving license, since she’s looking like Lena Iarovaia and Shtyk in their birthday suits.

I can’t eat. All the last ten years I have wanted to. My weight must be 59 kilograms. Between rehearsals and performances I go mad and shout at the partners. I’ve learned to sleep in the day and visit the places I need while sleeping.

So now to the “DIAGNOSE”.

April 2006 they found hepatitis C in some final form in me. We took the camera to the hospital.

In a shadeless voice the doctors said that I have three years more, the last of which definitely would not be pleasant. Alisa gave a silent hem and made a close-up of me. I was looking very angry.

Or there’s intensive therapy. Six months. According to the last statistics, positive chances for a cure are 37 percent against 63 percent negative. The medicine is new, its effects aren’t studied and well-tested yet. I wouldn’t be allowed to stay among people because of the side effects – depression, weakness, fiber, claustrophobia and more. It would be possible under the constant supervision of a doctor. It would be a chance.

I agreed to try the therapy and expended a lot of energy and paper to avoid the hospital. 672 pills, 96 pricks. In Edinburgh I weighed 55 kilograms already and was convinced that the consequences of this chemistry are really unknown and thought that they should analyze me.

Various things happened to me. I hardly remember the performances. The guys knew the story and were bearing up well. However they say I wasn’t completely myself.

After the sixth medical examination right before the “Totentanz” action in the Dreikönigskirche in Dresden in March 2007 my dear doctoress said that I had won. Alisa photographed her hands. We were hugging a little bit longer than usual.

I told the guys about it. As I heard my voice I realized that it was another Anton. The old one disappeared some time that summer. All my performances after Edinburgh: “Mad in Japan”, “Wolve’s Tango” in Kronstadt, “x0” and all the actions and dances, and “ROBERT’S DREAM” and the “DIAGNOSE”, and interviews, and the white contact lenses – they all are creatures of another human being.

So we are living with it so far.

A form of the performance: reconsideration of the Great Love that covered the sky in March 2006. A task of the performance: to meet the old Anton.

I will wear clothes in the performance.

Original text: Anton Adasinsky
English text editor: Jennifer Williams
Photo: Anton Adasinsky, Maxim Didenko, Elena Iarovaia
Photo design: Elena Iarovaia